Crisis of faith #563
August 3rd, 2004
I feel particularly guilty for having these thoughts after finally getting Corny up on SourceForge. But: does this project still matter? To me, or anyone else?
It is not an exaggeration, or a negative statement in my view, to say that when Cornucopt is 1.0, the world will not care. I had a professor who, late in the thesis process for us senior art majors, did something I thought was brave and necessary. He told us all, “This stuff doesn’t change the world. It just doesn’t.” (Wait, actually I’m remembering that line from a Steve Jobs interview in Wired. So, as far as my art prof, I’m paraphrasing, but he did say the following:) “I remember the opening of my first gallery show in the city, in this tiny gallery. I had been sort of expecting the world to beat a path to my stuff as soon as the doors opened. And when nobody came into the gallery for half an hour I actually stormed down the stairs and out into the street, like I was looking for these people. Like I was gonna go and physically drag someone in. And it dawned on me that the world really just isn’t going to notice. I had to find a way to keep doing it anyway.”
Over the years, he did get noticed… just not by the world. And he built a career. But getting there has to be about something else. It is okay to want to get noticed, even to point yourself in that direction, but you have to know that it’s going to come slowly if it comes at all. And you have to build that into your approach. Successful projects in Corny’s vein (aimed at the overlap between geeks and non-, server-based, and having something to do with moving text around and onto a website) have been built out of that classic programmer’s need to “scratch an itch,” or out of passion. (Is there a difference?)
Whether Cornucopt will ever take off is unimportant to me (right now). The question that matters more is, do I still want this code badly enough? Why do I want to have a wiki with weblogs, or anything else I dream up, floating around in it?
I only have room for one programming project in my life at a time (not counting those I get paid to do). Right now, another one is calling my name again. I think I’m going to let Cornucopt cool for a while and see what happens when I want to come back.
Sorry to keep whipsawing like this. Yes, that’s a word.